"Le Poisson" - Poison Relay 02
The gay beholder discord server is cooking poisons. Everyone receives an NPC from the previous poster to write up a more or less bespoke poison and then tags the next one with an NPC in need of poisoning.
mtb posted the rules and start of the relay here.
The Victim: Portulacaria Finis
(Provided by mtb.)
A vicious pirate captain, known for taking no prisoners should the order to surrender be refused. Known to like new and avant garde art, but will usually want to see and admire the spoils that their crews take to find anything particularly shiny. The location of the island is known only to the captains. Some old salts claim that it is actually a turtle island, and so moves around: the captains are given magical compasses that point at the turtle, not towards north, but these are unsubstantiated rumours.
Food on the island is shared in common, with Portulacaria not having anything much more special than their crews. A taster is employed, but they are a little lax. Given the limited access to the island, most people are known to most other people: there are not usually many visitors wandering around, so strangers are closely watched.
The Poison: "Le Poisson"
Created by members of the French Nouvelle Vague of Wizardry, "Le Poisson" does not actually qualify as a poison in the eyes of most people. The Amateur Poisoner and Alchemists Club (APAC) repeatedly sues for false advertisement but their legal representation keeps turning up dead in bath houses and fish restaurants.
"Le Poisson" is a simple poison. A wizard spends a number of days speaking to a fish, imbuing it with deep hatred for a named individual as well as the ability to instantly grow venomous(!) fangs. The wizard will charge 1000 gp per day of work. Once the ritual is complete, the fish is released into open water to hunt for its target. The number of days spent by the wizard determines the number of weeks it will hunt before dissolving into slime with a happy sigh. The fish will do everything in its power to achieve its goal, be it swim upstream or play dead. Anyone bit by "Le Poisson" must Save vs. Death, dissolving like the fish on a failure.
The New Victim: His Holiness Innocent CXIV, Bishop of Goblome, Vicar of Gob Crucified, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Goblin Church, Patriarch of the Lairs, Primate of Goblitana, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Goblin Province, Sovereign of the Goblin City State, Servant of the servants of Gob.
No one knows when the goblins became catholic. They might have been for all of their existence. Big folks only recently became aware of it when a new pontiff was elected from among the western goblins. To the humans of the west Innocent CXIV was previously known as "Stinker the Brigand", a cunning goblin bandit. Ever since he became goblin pope he has been sending financial aid and ordering his missionaries to build infrastructure for "those poor humans". This has greatly offended many a people and the lords finally decided to put a 10'000 gp bounty on his head.
Only, no human knows where the Holy City Goblin City State lies. They say all goblin lairs and caves lead to Goblome. Rumors say Innocent is guarded by thousands of loyal followers but will even speak with human petitioners if they "desire true and eternal peace in their small human hearts".
Tagging Mightier than a Sword to deliver poison that befits a goblin pope.
